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We talked to dozens of people about their experience of grief. Here’s what we learned (and how it’s different from what you might think)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-peterie-564209">Michelle Peterie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Have you ever felt a sudden pang of sadness? A bird seems to stop and look you in the eye. A photo drops out of a messy drawer from long ago, in the mundanity of a weekend spring clean. Your day is immediately derailed, unsettled. You are pulled into something you thought was past. And yet, in being pulled back, you are grateful, reconnected, and grief-stricken all over again. “You’ll get over it”. “Give it time”. “You need time to move on”. These are common cultural refrains in the face of loss. But what if grief doesn’t play by the rules? What if grief is a different thing altogether? We talked to 95 people about their experiences of grief surrounding the loss of a loved one, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00380261241228412">their stories</a> provided a fundamentally different account of grief to the one often presented to us culturally. <h2>Disordered grief?</h2> Grief is often imagined as a time-bound period in which one processes the pain of loss – that is, adjusts to absence and works toward “moving on”. The bereaved are expected to process their pain within the confines of what society deems “normal”. The <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-the-dsm-and-how-are-mental-disorders-diagnosed-9568">DSM-5 psychiatric manual</a> says if grief drags on too long, in fact, it becomes a pathology (a condition with a medical diagnosis). “Prolonged grief disorder” is the name given to “persistent difficulties associated with bereavement that exceeded expected social, cultural, or religious expectations”. While there can be <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-prolonged-grief-should-be-listed-as-a-mental-disorder-4262">value</a> in clinical diagnostic categories such as this, the danger is they put artificial boundaries around emotions. The pathologisation of grief can be deeply alienating to those experiencing it, for whom the pressure to “move on” can be hurtful and counterproductive. The stories we gathered in our research were raw, complex and often fraught. They did not sit comfortably with commonsense understandings of how grief “should” progress. As bereaved daughter Barbara told us: "Grief is not in the little box, it doesn’t even come close to a little box." <h2>Grief starts early</h2> The tendency is to think of grief as something that happens post death. The person we love dies, we have a funeral, and the grief sets in. Then it slowly subsides with the steady march of time. In fact, grief often begins earlier, often in a clinical consultation where the words “terminal” or “nothing more we can do” are used. Or when a loved one is told “go home and get your life in order”. Grief can begin months or even years before bereavement. As the people we interviewed experienced it, loss was also cumulative. The gradual deterioration of a loved one’s health in the years or months before their death imposed other painful losses: the loss of chosen lifestyles, the loss of longstanding relational rhythms, the loss of shared hopes and anticipated futures. Many participants felt their loved ones – and, indeed, the lives they shared with them – slipping away long before their physical deaths. <h2>Living with the dead</h2> Yet the dead do not simply leave us. They remain with us, in memories, rituals and cultural events. From <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-ancient-cultures-teach-us-about-grief-mourning-and-continuity-of-life-86199">Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos</a> to <a href="https://theconversation.com/japans-obon-festival-how-family-commemoration-and-ancestral-worship-shapes-daily-life-179890">Japan’s Opon</a>, festivals of the dead play a key role in cultures around the world. In that way, remembering the dead remains a critical aspect of living. So too does <a href="https://theconversation.com/theres-not-always-closure-in-the-never-ending-story-of-grief-3096">the ongoing experience of grief</a>. Events of this kind are not merely celebratory. They are critical forms through which life and death, joy and grief, are brought together and integrated. The absence of remembering can hold its own trouble, as our participants’ accounts revealed. As bereaved wife Anna explained: "I just find it really frustrating and I do get quite angry and upset sometimes. I know that life goes on. I’d be talking to girlfriends and stuff like that and it’s like they’ve forgotten that I’ve lost my husband. They haven’t, but nothing really changed in their life. But for me, and my family, it has." Part of the problem, here, is the ambivalent role grief plays in advanced industrialised societies like ours. Many of our participants felt pressure to perform resilience or (in clinical terms) to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1363459317724854">“recover” quickly after loss</a>. But whose interests does a swift recovery serve? An employer’s? Friends who just want to get on with a death-free life? And, even more importantly, mightn’t ongoing connections with the dead enable better living? Might bringing the dead along with us actually make for better deaths and better lives? Many of our participants felt their loved ones remained with them, and experienced their “absent presence” as a source of comfort. Grieving, in this context, involved spending time “with” the dead. Anna described her practice as follows: "I had a diary, so I just write stuff in it about how I’m feeling or something happened and I’ll say to [my deceased husband], it’s all to [my deceased husband], “Do you remember, blah, blah, blah.” I’ll just talk about that memory that I have of that particular time and I find that that helps." <h2>Caring for those who grieve</h2> Grief does not begin at death, but neither do relationships end there. To rush the bereaved through grief – to usher them towards “recovery” and the more comfortable territories of happiness and productivity – is to do them a disservice. And, perhaps more critically, ridding our lives of the dead and grief may, in the end, make for more limited and muted emotional lives.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223848/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-peterie-564209">Michelle Peterie</a>, Research Fellow, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alex-broom-121063">Alex Broom</a>, Professor of Sociology & Director, Sydney Centre for Healthy Societies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-talked-to-dozens-of-people-about-their-experience-of-grief-heres-what-we-learned-and-how-its-different-from-what-you-might-think-223848">original article</a>.

Caring

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals. Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>. We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.” In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood. <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time. For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days. For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.” Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats. Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being. <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>. The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>. Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think. For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>. Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>. Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>. <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health? They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so. For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>. And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>. In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.” Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>. Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media. <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK. To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends. Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start. <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women. For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image. Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well. For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food. Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters. In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies. In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.

Mind

Finding joy at age 100: Talking to centenarians about living their best life at any age

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Aging is seen as a period of loss, and there are unhelpful <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/10-myths-about-aging">myths about older adults</a>. Myths lead to treatable conditions being considered normal parts of aging, including cognitive decline, dementia, depression and loneliness. Some even consider exercise dangerous in older adults. At the same time, mainstream media promotes the message that <a href="https://doi.org/10.4236/jss.2017.58015">being young is central to a person’s value</a>. These ideas lead to ageism and older adults being seen as lesser. After spending time with six female centenarians in assisted living facilities, our research team — which included four nursing researchers and a documentary filmmaker — learned there is plenty still worth living for. Centenarians are a small but growing segment of the population with <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/daily-quotidien/220928/dq220928c-eng.pdf?st=LrkfjZE_">13,844 centenarians in Canada</a>, and our findings debunk myths about the experience of aging. We asked the centenarians questions about what brings them joy and how they plan for the future because we wanted to learn how the very elderly plan for and find ways to live their best lives. The results of this study were <a href="https://vimeo.com/showcase/looking-forward-at-100">turned into a 32-minute documentary</a> that captures participants’ long and interesting lives and offers insight into continued meaning experienced by centenarians in their daily lives. Three of the centenarians died shortly after the interviews took place. <h2>Long and interesting lives</h2> The participants were born between the years 1919 and 1922. They were children during the Great Depression and young adults during the Second World War. One of the women helped build bullet casings and worked on the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/technology/Lancaster-airplane">Lancaster bomber</a>. Another woman helped her husband protect the blueprints of the ill-fated <a href="https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/avro-arrow">Avro Arrow aircraft</a> when he brought them home from work. Two women lost their husbands when their children were small and had to go to work to support their families. They all experienced love and adventure. Our team was fascinated by their stories and wanted to further explore what their lives look like today. Betty, 101, saw happiness as a choice. “I don’t know what’s really to complain about. I went through life staying happy,” she said. <h2>Joy and challenges</h2> This study used a research method called <a href="https://www.scribd.com/doc/151684840/Braun-Clarke-2006-Using-Thematic-Analysis">thematic analysis</a> to find four themes: Finding Joy, Act your Age, Looking Forward and Putting Challenges into Perspective. The centenarians found joy each day and enjoyed the little things such as activities, visits and treats. Betty enjoyed cheating at solitaire and Jean, 100, played the piano. Clementina, 101, had fun gambling and Joyce, 100, continued to write stories and watch her grandchildren in music concerts. Family was central to their lives and they enjoyed spending time with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Two of the women stated that raising their children was the biggest accomplishment in their lives. The centenarians also found great joy in reminiscing about their interesting lives. However, one of the challenges was that there was no one left alive who had the same shared experiences. <h2>Limitations</h2> The centenarians were constrained by the limitations of society, their bodies and their self-perceptions. “You have to act your age,” said Clementina. She physically described this phenomenon by clasping her hands together in her lap and sitting still. Some participants found life to be boring at 100 compared to their lives as younger adults. They had limited opportunities to do what they would like. “We had homes,” said Joyce, 100, describing how they had known better lives, which made it hard to accept the constraints of their current existence. In spite of these feelings, many of the participants continued to be busy and live life fully despite limitations. Jean, despite needing a wheelchair for mobility, continues to do people’s taxes for a volunteer organization, plays piano for church services and leads choirs within her facility. “I am constantly rebelling against my situation physically,” she said. The other women in this study also continued to challenge norms of what their age and disabilities meant. Joyce writes and submits short stories for publication, and has a poem in the war archives in Ottawa. Assisted living facilities often prioritize resident safety, but this can come at a cost to personal freedom. Some residents only leave their facility accompanied by a facility employee or a family member. Clementina rebelled against this restriction and at the age of 97, snuck out of her assisted living facility in a cab to go to the casino, pretending that she was going to meet her son. All of the participants put their life challenges into perspective. They all had lost spouses, friends and some had lost their children. “I was broken,” Clementina said about losing her husband. Christine, 102, was asked how she managed after losing her husband when her children were still small. “I am still here,” she said. <h2>The future</h2> Most of the centenarians had few plans for themselves for the future and were more interested in leading their day-to-day lives. Betty jokingly described the inevitability of her death and that she was “looking for the bucket.” Most described being prepared to die except for Jean, who laughed and said she didn’t have time to die. “I have too many plans.” The centenarians looked to the future of their families and the larger community and entrusted the next generation to make good choices. Participants in this study had long and interesting lives and continued to find meaning each day. This study supports the idea that older adults continue to lead engaging lives and that we need to support older adults to live their best lives at any age. This article was also co-authored by journalist and filmmaker Kelly-Anne Riess and retired nursing instructor Susan Page.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/206852/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, Assistant Professor of Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, Instructor, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, Associate Research Scientist, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/finding-joy-at-age-100-talking-to-centenarians-about-living-their-best-life-at-any-age-206852">original article</a>.

Caring

5 genius travel hacks no-one talks about

Genius travel influencer Grace Cheng has amassed a large following on Instagram by sharing her luxurious international adventures. But she's not just about the pretty pictures and glamorous destinations; she's also got some practical tips and tricks up her sleeve – one of which makes so much sense you will be a little cross you didn't think of it yourself. In a recent video, Cheng revealed her top five travel hacks that "no one talks about" – and while some of her tips were met with skepticism from readers and viewers, others were completely floored by how simple and effective they were. Tip 1: Freeze water bottles to get them through security Amazing, right? Cheng's first tip is such a game-changer for anyone who's ever had to throw away their water bottle at airport security. She claims you can actually take a full bottle of water through security ... if it's frozen. The logic is that ice is solid and water is liquid, so all you have to do is freeze the water before you leave for the airport. Then, before you hit security, just drink whatever has melted and carry on the rest. Cheng calls this one the "biggest hack ever" – and we're inclined to agree. No more paying for overpriced bottled water at the airport! Tip 2: Use a hair to check for hotel room intruders This one seems a little paranoid, but if you're ever worried about someone entering your hotel room while you're out, Cheng has a clever solution. She suggests taping a hair at the bottom of the door frame. When you come back to your room, you'll see if the hair has been broken or not. If it has, then you know someone has been inside. This is a pretty simple and effective way to check for intruders, and it's definitely worth trying if you're feeling paranoid. Tip 3: Board your economy flight last to get an empty row If you're flying economy, Cheng says you should always board the plane last. This is because it will give you a chance to see which seats are empty. Once you've spotted an empty row, you can politely ask the flight attendant if you can take one of the seats. With a little luck, you'll end up with a whole row to yourself, which is basically like flying business class. Tip 4: Book with the same hotel chain to get upgrades If you're a frequent traveller, Cheng says you should always book with the same hotel chain whenever possible. This is because you'll be more likely to get rewarded with upgrades and better customer service. Hotel chains often have loyalty programs that reward repeat customers. So, if you're always booking with the same hotel chain, you'll eventually start to rack up points that can be redeemed for upgrades, free stays and other perks. Solid tip, Cheng! Tip 5: Always carry a universal power adaptor Cheng says this is one of the most important travel hacks she's ever learned. She used to have to keep buying different adaptors for every country she visited, but now she just carries a universal adaptor with her. This is quite the lifesaver for any traveller who wants to avoid the hassle of finding and buying adaptors in every new country they visit. Overall, Cheng's travel hacks are a mix of clever tips and solid, commonsense advice. But whether you love them or hate them, there's no denying that they're worth checking out. So, next time you're planning a trip, be sure to give Cheng's hacks a try. You might just be surprised at how much they can make your travels easier and more enjoyable! <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxMol_HLl3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxMol_HLl3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by grace | TravelCreator✨ (@graceccheng)</a> </div> </blockquote> Images: Travel Creator @graceccheng / Instagram

Travel Tips

Is it okay to kiss your pet? The risk of animal-borne diseases is small, but real

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sarah-mclean-1351935">Sarah McLean</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/enzo-palombo-249510">Enzo Palombo</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> Our relationship with pets has changed drastically in recent decades. Pet ownership is at an all-time high, with <a href="https://animalmedicinesaustralia.org.au/media-release/more-than-two-thirds-of-australian-households-now-own-a-pet/">a recent survey</a> finding 69% of Australian households have at least one pet. We spend an estimated A$33 billion every year on caring for our fur babies. While owning a pet is linked to numerous <a href="https://www.onehealth.org/blog/10-mental-physical-health-benefits-of-having-pets">mental and physical health benefits</a>, our pets can also harbour infectious diseases that can sometimes be passed on to us. For most people, the risk is low. But some, such as pregnant people and those with weakened immune systems, are at <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/specific-groups/high-risk/index.html">greater risk</a> of getting sick from animals. So, it’s important to know the risks and take necessary precautions to prevent infections. <h2>What diseases can pets carry?</h2> Infectious diseases that move from animals to humans are called zoonotic diseases or <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/onehealth/basics/zoonotic-diseases.html">zoonoses</a>. More than <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3668296/#B18">70 pathogens</a> of companion animals are known to be transmissible to people. Sometimes, a pet that has a zoonotic pathogen may look sick. But often there may be no visible symptoms, making it easier for you to catch it, because you don’t suspect your pet of harbouring germs. Zoonoses can be transmitted directly from pets to humans, such as through contact with saliva, bodily fluids and faeces, or indirectly, such as through contact with contaminated bedding, soil, food or water. Studies suggest <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4500695/">the prevalence of pet-associated zoonoses is low</a>. However, the true number of infections is likely <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/17/11/3789">underestimated</a> since many zoonoses are not “<a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/notification-of-illness-and-disease">notifiable</a>”, or may have multiple exposure pathways or generic symptoms. Dogs and cats are major reservoirs of zoonotic infections (meaning the pathogens naturally live in their population) caused by viruses, bacteria, fungi and parasites. <a href="https://www.who.int/data/gho/data/themes/topics/rabies">In endemic regions in Africa and Asia</a>, dogs are the main source of rabies which is transmitted through saliva. Dogs also commonly carry Capnocytophaga bacteria <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/capnocytophaga/index.html">in their mouths and saliva</a>, which can be transmitted to people through close contact or bites. The vast majority of people won’t get sick, but these bacteria can occasionally cause infections in people with weakened immune systems, <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/capnocytophaga/signs-symptoms/index.html">resulting</a> in severe illness and sometimes death. Just last week, such a death <a href="https://thewest.com.au/news/wa/tracy-ridout-perth-mum-dies-11-days-after-rare-bacterial-infection-from-minor-dog-bite-c-11748887">was reported in Western Australia</a>. Cat-associated zoonoses include a number of illnesses spread by the faecal-oral route, such as giardiasis, campylobacteriosis, salmonellosis and toxoplasmosis. This means it’s especially important to wash your hands or use gloves whenever handling your cat’s litter tray. Cats can also sometimes transmit infections through bites and scratches, including the aptly named <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/diseases/cat-scratch.html#:%7E:text=Cat%20scratch%20disease%20(CSD)%20is,the%20surface%20of%20the%20skin.">cat scratch disease</a>, which is caused by the bacterium Bartonella henselae. Both dogs and cats are also reservoirs for <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10122942/">methicillin-resistant bacterium Staphylococcus aureus</a> (MRSA), with close contact with pets identified as an important risk factor for zoonotic transmission. <h2>Birds, turtles and fish can also transmit disease</h2> But it’s not just dogs and cats that can spread diseases to humans. Pet birds can occasionally transmit <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/pneumonia/atypical/psittacosis/">psittacosis</a>, a bacterial infection which causes pneumonia. Contact with <a href="https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/pet-turtles-source-germs">pet turtles</a> has been linked to Salmonella infections in humans, particularly in young children. Even pet fish have been linked to a <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/pets/fish.html">range of bacterial infections</a> in humans, including vibriosis, mycobacteriosis and salmonellosis. Close contact with animals – and some behaviours in particular – increase the risk of zoonotic transmission. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19398275/">A study from the Netherlands</a> found half of owners allowed pets to lick their faces, and 18% allowed dogs to share their bed. (Sharing a bed increases the duration of exposure to pathogens carried by pets.) The same study found 45% of cat owners allowed their cat to jump onto the kitchen sink. Kissing pets has also been linked to occasional zoonotic infections in pet owners. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3298380/">In one case</a>, a woman in Japan developed meningitis due to Pasteurella multicoda infection, after regularly kissing her dog’s face. These bacteria are often found in the oral cavities of dogs and cats. Young children are also more likely to engage in behaviours which increase their risk of <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/specific-groups/high-risk/children.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fhealthypets%2Fspecific-groups%2Fchildren.html">getting sick</a> from animal-borne diseases – such as putting their hands in their mouth after touching pets. Children are also less likely to wash their hands properly after handling pets. Although anybody who comes into contact with a zoonotic pathogen via their pet can become sick, certain people are more likely to suffer from serious illness. These people include the young, old, pregnant and immunosuppressed. For example, while most people infected with the toxoplasmosis parasite will experience only mild illness, it can be life-threatening or <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/pregnancy/what-are-the-risks-of-toxoplasmosis-during-pregnancy/">cause birth defects in foetuses</a>. <h2>What should I do if I’m worried about catching a disease from my pet?</h2> There are a number of good hygiene and pet husbandry practices that can reduce your risk of becoming sick. These include: <ul> <li>washing your hands after playing with your pet and after handling their bedding, toys, or cleaning up faeces</li> <li>not allowing your pets to lick your face or open wounds</li> <li>supervising young children when they are playing with pets and when washing their hands after playing with pets</li> <li>wearing gloves when changing litter trays or cleaning aquariums</li> <li>wetting bird cage surfaces when cleaning to minimise aerosols</li> <li>keeping pets out of the kitchen (especially cats who can jump onto food preparation surfaces)</li> <li>keeping up to date with preventative veterinary care, including vaccinations and worm and tick treatments</li> <li>seeking veterinary care if you think your pet is unwell.</li> </ul> It is especially important for those who are at a higher risk of illness to take precautions to reduce their exposure to zoonotic pathogens. And if you’re thinking about getting a pet, ask your vet which type of animal would best suit your personal circumstances.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210898/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sarah-mclean-1351935">Sarah McLean</a>, Lecturer in environmental health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/enzo-palombo-249510">Enzo Palombo</a>, Professor of Microbiology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-it-okay-to-kiss-your-pet-the-risk-of-animal-borne-diseases-is-small-but-real-210898">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Try these tricks the next time small talk becomes unbearable

Real talk Bonnie Todd runs 250 food tours a year – a job that puts her in contact with hundreds of new people every week. Food-lovers come to her for an introduction to local tastes and flavours. And a large part of what keeps her guests satisfied, and willing to recommend her business to others, is the personal connection she makes with them. “I try to get past the small talk and general recommendations pretty quickly,” says the 42-year-old. “It’s all about finding common ground within the group, and trying to make it a unique experience. So I’m always asking questions. And when I find that spark of commonality, I dig into it.” The practice is key to Todd’s approach because, unlike many tours, hers require people to sit together sharing food and drinks. When groups don’t gel, or never get past the “Where are you from?” stage, what should be a stimulating experience can turn into an awkward and draining couple of hours. We’ve all been there: trapped in a superficial exchange that bounces aimlessly from one meaningless topic to the next. It can make you never want to step foot into another party again. But don’t despair: there are some tactics that can help you turn boring small talk into an energising conversation. Put yourself out there Improv performer Natalie Metcalfe’s job is to keep a scene going – to create an exchange that’s compelling for both the people involved and for a live audience. “In improv, it’s all about offers,” she says, referring to the act of bringing new information into the dialogue. Through these back-and-forths, the relationship between the characters is established and that kicks things off. “It’s the same thing in a regular conversation. You’re constantly making offers to see if you and the person you’re talking to can connect.” An offer in real life can be as simple as complimenting someone on what they’re wearing, and asking them about it. You can try sharing something you recently learned, or an interest you’ve just developed, creating an opening for the other person to ask you a question. Or, you can describe a relatable problem you’re having – a noisy neighbour, a plant that’s not thriving, a question of etiquette – as a prompt for advice, or some cooperative troubleshooting. One of Todd’s go-to approaches is to share a personal story of her own that relates to the other person’s experience. “If I find out someone has been to a place I’ve travelled, I’ll tell them an anecdote about what I did there, and ask them to share their own story.” Of course, putting yourself out there can sometimes feel scary, even when you’re not on stage. But Misha Glouberman, who runs a course called How to Talk to People About Things, says taking that leap pays off. “A lot of the time in conversations, there’s something we’re interested in, but there’s a part of us that doesn’t want to take the risk of revealing it because we think it might be boring or inappropriate.” But the result of following those internal cues of fascination has the opposite effect, he says. “People like learning about other people’s interests. So be more open about yours, and a little more curious about theirs as well.” Be inquisitive and listen Radio interviewer Terry Gross once said, that the only icebreaker you’ll ever need is, “Tell me about yourself.” Instead of asking a pointed question like “What do you do?”, this type of open question gives someone a chance to offer up a topic they might be more excited to discuss. “Talking about yourself is really pleasurable. It activates the exact same hormone in your brain as sex,” says Celeste Headlee, the author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter. “Another tip you can take from neuroscience is that if you start a conversation by allowing someone to feel good about themselves, then they’ll be more open to new ideas and new thoughts for the rest of the conversation.” Of course, upping your curiosity quotient needs to be paired with actually paying attention to the answer. “Listening is hard for homo sapiens. It’s not something our species does easily,” says Headlee. Indeed, people often start crafting their response before the person they’re talking to has finished speaking. Or they’ll get distracted, thinking about an email they forgot to answer. Since a great conversation is by definition a two-way street, these habits have the effect of ending one before it can even begin. Intentional listening, on the other hand, is a key to an empathetic, engaging dialogue. Use disagreement wisely According to Headlee, one of the other things that gets in the way of a meaningful conversation is the all-too-human need to be right. “A really common mistake is the ‘well, actually’ response,” she says, referring to that deflating moment when a person lets their need to correct you about a small detail you’ve just mentioned get in the way of continuing a story. “Google has made this worse,” she adds. “You’ll say, I went to the hotel with the largest patio in the entire world, and while you’re still talking, the person is already on their phone looking to see if that’s actually true.” But while trivial arguments can be an obstacle to a good conversation, Glouberman points out that differences of opinion can also help propel a chat into richer territory. “We assume that the world is just as we see it, that we see it directly,” he says. “But of course all of psychology and neuroscience tells us that’s not the case.” A respectful disagreement, if the other party is open to it, is a great opportunity to enrich your view of the world by understanding someone else’s. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/uncategorized/try-these-tricks-the-next-time-small-talk-becomes-unbearable" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Relationships

Extreme weather events are exactly the time to talk about climate change – here’s why

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/josh-ettinger-1302389">Josh Ettinger</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-oxford-1260">University of Oxford</a> Record-breaking heatwaves are <a href="https://public.wmo.int/en/media/news/simultaneous-heatwaves-hit-northern-hemisphere-summer-of-extremes">sweeping across the northern hemisphere</a>, affecting large parts of southern Europe, the US and China. On July 24, Sicily recorded blistering temperatures <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-66302472">of more than 47.5℃</a> and wildfires are currently <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/jul/25/how-bad-are-wildfires-in-greece-what-caused-them-visual-guide-heatwave">tearing through Greece</a>. The heatwaves come as <a href="https://www.reuters.com/graphics/CANADA-WILDFIRE/HISTORIC/znvnzebmavl/">record numbers of fires continue to burn</a> across Canada. A <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-66289489">study by the World Weather Attribution group</a> found that these heatwaves would have been “virtually impossible” without climate change. In fact, the heatwave that is affecting parts of China was made 50 times more likely by global warming. This is exactly what climate scientists have been warning us about for decades – climate change makes many types of extreme weather event <a href="https://www.carbonbrief.org/explainer-what-the-new-ipcc-report-says-about-extreme-weather-and-climate-change/">more likely, more intense and longer lasting</a>. As a PhD researcher examining extreme weather events and climate change communication, I have spent the past four years exploring how extreme weather events may affect the way the public feels, thinks and acts on climate change. One area of interest to researchers is how extreme weather events might reduce the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272494422000676">“psychological distance”</a> associated with climate change. While climate change can feel abstract and vague, extreme weather is something people can experience firsthand. But <a href="https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/ab466a/meta">research offers contrasting results</a>. Some studies have found that extreme weather events lead to an <a href="https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/full/10.1017/S0022381612000448?casa_token=dTns6Kvds1AAAAAA%3AkQcleVJ95vJUyh5Pg2vxvFEDbzfR1RsuOI131QCMO0wvdtIiLSVEq4EW6fZYwC7Yhraxj-NB9g">increased belief</a> that human-driven climate change is occurring and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10584-016-1837-4">greater support for climate action</a>. Others <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10584-021-03176-z">find no effects</a> or suggest that these effects are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0959378017309135?via%3Dihub">only temporary</a>. However, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-022-32412-y">we often underestimate</a> how much the public already cares about climate change. In Britain, <a href="https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1164127/desnz-pat-spring-2023-net-zero-and-climate-change.pdf">just 4% of the public</a> say they are not at all concerned about climate change, while only <a href="https://climatecommunication.yale.edu/about/projects/global-warmings-six-americas/">11% of Americans</a> dismiss the issue. Given that <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2019/04/18/a-look-at-how-people-around-the-world-view-climate-change/">most people</a> are already concerned about climate change, an important question now is how to shift these existing concerns into action. <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-talk-to-your-family-and-friends-about-the-new-ipcc-report-five-tips-from-climate-change-communication-research-202306">Talking about climate change</a> is a powerful way of mobilising climate action, and extreme weather events provide helpful climate conversation starters. We can use these moments as opportunities to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/20563051231177930">engage our families, friends and communities</a> in discussions about how climate change may relate to these events and <a href="https://drawdown.org/solutions">what we can do about it</a>. So, if you decide to engage people you know in discussions about extreme weather and climate change, here are a few thoughts and guidelines to keep in mind. <h2>1. Listen and share perspectives</h2> <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0887618520300773">Extreme weather events can be traumatic</a> and climate change can evoke a wide range of emotional responses. If the person you are talking to is comfortable discussing the topic, ask them about their experiences and observations. Encourage them to tell stories and affirm the validity of their emotional response – whether they are afraid, angry, hopeful or worried. There is no one right way to feel about climate change, so listen to what they have to say and then share your own perspective too. <h2>2. Talk about planning and preparation</h2> When discussing extreme weather events, some people may link their experiences to climate change, while others focus on various local factors that contribute to extreme weather risks. The risks associated with extreme weather arise from a <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/wg2/chapter/summary-for-policymakers/">combination</a> of factors. These include the weather itself, which can be influenced by climate change, the level of exposure of people and places to extreme weather and the vulnerability of those to harm. Climate change, for instance, can affect the frequency, intensity and duration of wildfires. But emergency responses, evacuation procedures, firefighting and healthcare systems are crucially important to reduce risks. There are also significant equity and justice implications of extreme weather as different populations are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41885-020-00060-5">affected disproportionally</a>. It’s also important to bear in mind that while climate change affects many extreme weather events, it <a href="https://www.carbonbrief.org/climate-change-not-the-main-driver-of-madagascar-food-crisis-scientists-find/">does not necessarily affect every instance</a>. Weather systems are complex and there are <a href="https://theconversation.com/heres-why-climate-change-isnt-always-to-blame-for-extreme-rainfall-206958">meteorological processes</a> that scientists are still trying to understand. We also need to make sure the roles of local planning and preparation in minimising the impact of these events are not overlooked. <h2>3. Challenge arguments about politicising the weather</h2> In May 2023, Republican governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, dismissed concerns about global warming by claiming that he rejects the <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/desantis-climate-change-fox-news-b2346211.html">“politicisation of the weather”</a>. Ontario premier, Doug Ford, recently <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/ontario-climate-change-forest-fires-politics-ford-stiles-1.6869071">made a similar argument</a> about Canada’s wildfires. In conversations, it’s possible that someone might accuse you too of “politicising” the weather. You can (respectfully) push back against this claim. This argument is a <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/global-sustainability/article/discourses-of-climate-delay/7B11B722E3E3454BB6212378E32985A7">discourse of climate delay</a>. Rather than denying the existence of human-driven climate change, climate delay discourses try to shut down climate discussions and cast doubt on the need to act very quickly. These arguments disingenuously assert that acting on climate is too expensive, too late or that someone else should take care of it – and they are <a href="https://theconversation.com/climate-change-multi-country-media-analysis-shows-scepticism-of-the-basic-science-is-dying-out-198303">becoming increasingly common</a>. If we shouldn’t discuss climate change when extreme weather occurs, then when is the right time? If we want to protect lives, we need to talk about – and act upon – the risks associated with extreme weather events and the disasters they can cause. If talking about climate change politicises the weather, so be it. The politics of climate denial and delay affected this summer’s weather, and our current decisions will shape our planet for thousands of years. The science is clear. Act now or face increasingly dire consequences.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/210412/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/josh-ettinger-1302389">Josh Ettinger</a>, Doctoral researcher, School of Geography and the Environment, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-oxford-1260">University of Oxford</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/extreme-weather-events-are-exactly-the-time-to-talk-about-climate-change-heres-why-210412">original article</a>.

Travel Trouble

Legendary model Christie Brinkley talks body image ahead of her 70th birthday

Christie Brinkley may be pushing 70 but she’s showing no signs of switching up her sensual public image. The 69-year-old Vogue model will still be donning bikinis for social media and says she feels as good as she did 40 years ago. “I feel strong,” Brinkley told People, “I pretty much feel, as I'm approaching 70, the same way that I felt when I was approaching 30. I feel good.” She spoke to the outlet while hosting Pet Life Unlimited’s Forever Young senior dog adoption event at the Animal Haven shelter in New York City. “I feel like the number doesn't match my spirit, so I may as well just keep spiriting on,” she added. She will turn 70 on February 2, 2024. “I think they all signal to us certain things,” she said. “I've been shocked by not feeling the way I thought I was supposed to be feeling at that age,” she explained. “I don't believe that focusing on age is going to make you feel any better about it.” And her advice for looking young was, “I think curiosity in the world around you and just wanting to do something with each day, that is what keeps you young and going.” The 69-year-old shared that her family keeps her grounded. She has two daughters, Alex Ray, 37, and Sailor, 24, and one son Jack, 27. “I just love any time I have any family and friends around, just being able to sit and laugh — I think laughter heals everything,” she continued. In 2022, Brinkley spoke about her figure. She was seen in a crop top and shorts while stretching on the beach and offered some solid advice. “When you eat too much, it’s not as easy to lose the weight, so here’s a tip that’s tried and true, that will make you feel like your best you,” she said. She also advised, “avoid the sugar and do exercise, it’s not about the size of your thighs.” “Vibrant good health will be your prize! Reminder this month when you buy a bottle, you’ll put planting trees into full throttle!” she said. The mum-of-three was spotted in a light blue swimsuit while walking on the shore in the Caribbean and took to Instagram to reveal to followers what she eats to stay in shape. She broke down her healthy diet tips and tricks that don’t skimp on flavour but rely heavily on freshly picked fruit. In one post she uploaded an image of freshly cut papaya sprinkled with greens. “My neighbors grew this papaya! Look at the rich color! I'm planting the seeds from this papaya!”she wrote. Another post showcased her breakfast which appeared to consist primarily of fresh fruit. “Today's breakfast! Chia seeds really fill you up fast, great source of fiber and quercetin an antioxidant that can reduce your risk of developing several health conditions including heart disease!”, she wrote. Another post saw blueberries and raspers over chia seeds mixed with a “milk replacement” and pecans on top. “Easy to make too just put 2 tablespoons of chia seeds for every half cup of your milk replacement of choice. I love it made with coconut milk or Oatmilk, Just pop it in the fridge and it will puff up. Ta Da! “Add fruit dribble with honey if you have a sweet tooth.” Image credit: Instagram

Body

‘We lose ourselves’: carers talk about the lonely, stressful work of looking after loved ones

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/fleur-sharafizad-1138251">Fleur Sharafizad</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/esme-franken-947855">Esme Franken</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/uma-jogulu-1278812">Uma Jogulu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> An informal personal carer is someone who looks after a family member, neighbour or friend in need of care due to disability, illness or age. In Australia, there are approximately 2.8 million informal personal carers, including 906,000 who are primary carers. Projections suggest the national demand for carers will <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/FINAL-Value-of-Informal-Care-22-May-2020_No-CIC.pdf">rise 23% by 2030</a>. Around one in ten Australians are informal carers: <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/australias-welfare/informal-carers">most of these unpaid</a>. This group of people support one of society’s most foundational needs and our economy would struggle without them. Yet, little is understood about their experiences. <a href="https://bristoluniversitypressdigital.com/view/journals/ijcc/aop/article-10.1332-239788223X16789866214981/article-10.1332-239788223X16789866214981.xml">Our recent research</a> reveals how this group of carers lack necessary support for their own wellbeing. <h2>Our research</h2> We interviewed 36 informal personal primary carers living across Western Australia and Queensland. Respondents were aged between 34 and 69 years, and had all been the primary carer for a child, parent, partner, or in-law, for between two and 21 years. Data was collected in two waves: one in 2020 and the other in 2021. Respondents were recruited with the help of an Australian carers’ organisation. <h2>‘I’d rather it be someone else’s problem’</h2> Many of the carers we spoke to said they were not caring by choice, but by necessity. They said they feel both unseen and undervalued. A husband who had been caring for his wife who suffers from Alzheimer’s said: "I would rather work. I really don’t like being a carer. I’d rather it be someone else’s problem. Being a carer, you just get forgotten." Carers generally provide care around-the-clock, yet their compensations (such as <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/carer-payment">carer payments</a>) are far from equivalent to full-time pay. The carer payment, for example, equates to only <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/programs-projects/caring-costs-us/">28% of weekly ordinary time earnings</a> in Australia, and carers can expect to lose <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/carers-are-17700-worse-off-every-year-in-superannuation-payments/#:%7E:text=Caring%20Costs%20Us%3A%20The%20economic%20impact%20on%20lifetime,every%20year%20they%20are%20in%20that%20caring%20role.">approximately $17,700 in superannuation</a> every year they provide care. Few of <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/FINAL-Carers-Australia-2023-24-Jan-2023-Budget-Submission.pdf">Carers Australia’s pre-budget submission items</a> to benefit carers were adopted in the most recent federal budget. Instead, the budget contained items which may indirectly benefit carers through <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/2023-24-Budget-What-it-means-for-carers.pdf">increased support for the cared-for</a>. But these measures do not explicitly recognise and support carers’ wellbeing. Similarly, the recent draft of the <a href="https://www.pmc.gov.au/resources/draft-national-strategy-care-and-support-economy">National Strategy for the Care and Support Economy</a> recognises the contribution informal carers make to Australia’s economy but focuses on paid care and support. Our interviewees spoke about the personal costs of their work, and the stress and loneliness they experience. They shared feelings of being taken for granted as if their role was not work, let alone difficult work. One mum caring for her disabled son shared: "I just want people to see that, [a] carer doesn’t have any leave, paid leave, or recognition. People just think that’s your loved one, that’s your job. But I do want people to understand that I did not choose to be a carer as my career, but I will do it because it is important." This played into a feeling of people losing their sense of self, because caring work was so demanding and time consuming. A mother who had been caring for her daughter for 17 years after she had been involved in an accident said, "People don’t realise how much we put our life on hold to support the people that need that emotional and mental and physical and spiritual support. We put ourselves in the back shed while we’re supporting them, so we lose ourselves." <h2>A mental toll</h2> Many spoke of how they once had individual goals and ambitions, which they now considered unachievable. All of our interviewees had quit jobs and halted careers to take on personal care full-time. One mother caring for her ill child said: "I think if I had a crystal ball, I don’t know that I would perhaps have become a parent, I think I would have just stuck to my corporate life and had a cat and be done with it." The mental health toll experienced by carers in our study was clear throughout all interviews. A mother looking after her child with mental health challenges expressed: "Every carer has mental health impacts from being a carer. They won’t say it’s depression or anxiety, but it’s mental health because when the hierarchy of needs is not being met for you, you can’t provide them for somebody else." As one interviewee explained, the demanding nature of the work had left them exhausted and as though they “can’t do it”. Our interviewees spoke of “falling apart” under the strain of constantly caring for high-needs people in their households. One mother who cared for her children who were both on the autism spectrum recalled: "How many times, if I don’t go to the bathroom and have a shower to cool down myself, I could kill the kids and myself easily. That’s how bad. We are not ever in the category to get help." <h2>Feeling abandoned</h2> Because so much of their work happens in pre-existing relationships and behind closed doors, carers talked about not just feeling unseen but abandoned. A common theme across all interviews was how carers felt abandoned by institutions, health professionals and, in many cases, friends and family members. One husband who had cared for his wife for close to 20 years said: "The government doesn’t even care about the carers […] we’re not really getting anything and then they’re trying to take the crumbs off us." Carers do not have psychological, institutional or social support for themselves as individuals, separate from their role. But these support pillars are necessary so the entire responsibility of care does not fall solely on informal carers. <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/FINAL-Carers-Australia-2023-24-Jan-2023-Budget-Submission.pdf">Carer-inclusive activities</a> could be a good start. But policy should also be responsive to the unique and unmet needs of carers. These relate to the lack of personal and professional development, feelings of abandonment and social isolation. With an ageing population, a pandemic, and an emerging crisis over the quality of care for older Australians and people with disabilities, the role of informal carers has become increasingly important. The truth is that most of us will likely, at some point, undertake care work or be the person being cared for. Better formalised support for carers will ultimately improve the care for the most vulnerable among us and society as a whole. If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> on 13 11 14. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/fleur-sharafizad-1138251">Fleur Sharafizad</a>, Lecturer in Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/esme-franken-947855">Esme Franken</a>, Lecturer in Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/uma-jogulu-1278812">Uma Jogulu</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Business and Law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-lose-ourselves-carers-talk-about-the-lonely-stressful-work-of-looking-after-loved-ones-206409">original article</a>.

Caring

Florida’s plan to ban ‘period talk’

Politicians in Florida are considering a draft law to strengthen state control over sex education in students. This would ban any lessons in schools teaching students about menstrual cycles before high school. The proposal comes after Florida’s Republican-dominated legislature, backed by Governor Ron DeSantis, passed various laws limiting discussion in schools of gender and sexuality, reducing the emphasis on diversity in public schools across the state. The latest proposal came from Republican Stan McClain which would allow instruction "acquired immune deficiency syndrome, sexually transmitted diseases, or health education” only from sixth grade through to 12, typically children aged 12-18. Girls generally have their first period between the ages of 10 and 15, but some do as young as eight. "Imagine a little girl in fourth grade, going to the bathroom and finding blood in her panties and thinking that she is dying," state representative Ashley Gantt, a Democrat, said in a social media post. "She doesn't actually know what's going on. And her teacher does not even have the ability to tell her that this is a part of life.” However, the bill passed the subcommittee by a 13-to-5 vote. Planned Parenthood said the legislation would take "total control from local school districts in approving sex ed curriculum and give it to the State Department of Education", in turn presenting a "reductive and binary view of sex" and stigmatising LGBTQIA+ students. Critics say conservative legislatures in the USA are trying to impose their own views on others, preventing students from having a well-rounded education. Image credit: Shutterstock

Legal

Small town's Christmas display dubbed the "worst in history"

The Port Macquarie Council have been widely roasted online after the unveiling of their Christmas tree display, which has been dubbed the "worst in history". Families and community members turned out by the hundreds to see NSW Central Coast town light up its Christmas tree last week, which was met with a very mixed reaction. The long-anticipated reveal, which forced onlookers to wait until midnight for the lights to be turned on, was met with a chorus of disappointed sighs as the underwhelming tree was finally illuminated. Families expecting a glowing symbol of Christmas cheer were instead treated to a sight of Christmas gloom with sad looking fairy light strings barely clinging onto the huge pine tree's branches. Port Macquarie Hastings Council took the disappointment in its stride, mocking its own tree with an 'Instagram vs Reality' meme on Facebook. <iframe style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fpmhcouncil%2Fposts%2Fpfbid02tkGEispQKQLt4tsc5X3VP8iUQTyp2AFyMqLc1sQKw2CKZdGxsNHJKfSfCXVywhPVl&show_text=true&width=500" width="500" height="677" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> "What can we say except ... you're welcome," the council wrote on Friday, alongside a smirk face emoji. "With everything our community has been through recently, we know everyone appreciates a good laugh!" "We are glad our very sad Christmas tree could provide that for everyone." "So let's be real. Our poor tree does look like it was decorated by Santa after he's whizzed around the world and had too many eggnogs." The council said its tree decoration was done with "the best of intentions" however "extraordinary winds and rain" had destroyed the lights. "Just like the rest of us - she's battered and bruised, but she's still standing," they said. Just days after the tree lights were turned on, the council confirmed it needed to strip the sad looking tree because it had become a "safety risk" to locals. "We have enjoyed your good humour and appreciation of our abstract piece of art," the council joked. "Unfortunately, the infamous lights will be removed, as they are slipping further down the tree and pose a safety risk and we are concerned if we leave the inflatable baubles up, we may not have any left by Christmas." Port Macquarie Hastings Mayor Peta Pinson later said the council was working hard to install their "original outdoor tree will be installed and working for everyone's enjoyment well before Christmas". "Again, I am so thankful to the community for coming and celebrating. Merry Christmas to our wonderful, witty and resilient community," she said. Image credits: Facebook

Travel Trouble

10 of the smallest islands in the world

It’s a big mistake to overlook these small islands Jetting off to an idyllic island sounds pretty perfect at any time, but perhaps even more so right now. With everything that’s going on in the world, the idea of escaping to a virtually hidden spot with a leisurely pace, fresh air, and an absence of crowds is more appealing than ever. As many people start reframing the way they think about the future of travel, the words “small” and “remote” are becoming positives. These tiny islands prove that big things (aka memorable holidays) come in small packages. Scroll on to get inspired for future trips. Corvo Island, Azores Approximately 1609 kilometres west of mainland Portugal in the mid-Atlantic sits a chain of nine islands known as the Azores, which has gained the attention of travellers in recent years. To the north of São Miguel, the largest and most populous island in the archipelago, lies a ruggedly beautiful, serene, and isolated destination that revels in its relative obscurity. Corvo Island is a 11.2-square-kilometre spit with just 400 inhabitants, three restaurants, and five accommodations. Despite its small scale, Corvo Island delivers ample adventure, and the verdant, rolling, volcanic landscape invites endless exploration. Fishing, swimming in freshwater lakes, bird watching, and crater hiking number among the pilgrimage-worthy activities. It’s also a lovely place to relish some well-deserved solitude and introspection. Sea Lion Island, Falkland Islands Floating in the South Atlantic Ocean, 342 kilometres away from the southeast tip of Argentina, the Falkland Islands are the definition of remote. One of the southernmost settlements in the distant archipelago, Sea Lion Island is a prime spot for wilderness tourism. Designated as a National Nature Reserve in 2017, this 5.6-square-kilometre dot boasts an abundance of wildlife – including five species of penguins, sea lions, elephant seals, giant petrels, and killer whales – and only a handful of permanent residents. It requires a minimum of three flights to reach Sea Lion Island from the mainland. (Thankfully, there’s a cosy lodge to spend the night.) Alternatively, it’s possible to plan a guided excursion from nearby East Falkland or take a multi-day cruise. Bishop Rock, Isles of Scilly Rising from the turbulent waters of the Atlantic Ocean, 6.4km west of the Isles of Scilly, Bishop Rock is the most south-westerly point in Britain. Measuring a measly 0.0011844 square kilometres, Men Epskop (as it’s known in Cornish) held the title of the “smallest inhabited island” until its famous iron lighthouse was converted to automatic operation and the last keeper left in 1991. These days, Bishop Rock isn’t without accolades. It’s still the “smallest island with a building on it,” according to Guinness World Records. To satisfy the ongoing public interest, the St. Mary’s Boatmen’s Association runs regular trips during peak season. Isla Mujeres, Mexico Sitting ever so calmly at the convergence of the Caribbean Sea and the Gulf of Mexico, Isla Mujeres (Spanish for “Island of Women”) feels blissfully removed from the hustle, bustle, booze-fuelled debauchery, and hard-partying antics of nearby Cancún. This sleepy little isle trades nightclubs that blare techno music for breezy beach bars and a low-key yet vibrant downtown area. Isla Mujeres also promises sandy shores, casual seafood eateries, local artisan shops, excellent snorkelling, and a turtle sanctuary. Since it’s only eight kilometres long and 800 metres wide at its widest point, a car isn’t necessary (or even recommended). The best way to get around? Golf cart, moped, bicycle, or your own two feet. Little St. Simons Island, Georgia, USA A sliver of unspoiled paradise, little St. Simons Island is a private 4,500-hectare barrier island off the coast of Georgia, in the US. Widely touted as one of the most beautiful and least developed of The Peach State’s fabled Golden Isles, this treasure tempts travellers with 11 kilometres of unblemished beaches, giant cedar trees, and diverse wildlife. The sole accommodation, The Lodge on Little St. Simons Island, has six quaint cottages. It also offers a wide array of naturalist-led activities, such as bird watching and guided nature walks. Fox Island, Alaska Located off the coast of Seward, Fox Island is widely regarded as the crown jewel of Alaska’s Resurrection Bay. Envision imposing mountains, pebble beaches, sheltered coves, and glimmering glaciers. The raw beauty of this 5.47-kilometres-long parcel has inspired many visitors. Of course, outdoor adventure comes with the territory, too. Fox Island’s legendary peaks beckon hiking enthusiasts. And sea kayaking, salmon fishing, and wildlife peeping are also popular pastimes – especially in late spring and early summer. Starting in mid-May, humpback whales feed on herring in Resurrection Bay for almost a month. Soon thereafter, pods of orcas claim the clear waters for mating. Dangar Island, Australia Situated just north of Sydney, Dangar Island is a 29-hectare stretch of land in the Hawkesbury River that’s almost entirely forested. Roughly 250 people live on this leafy little gem that’s beloved for its car-free roads, waterfront houses, beaches, aboriginal rock carvings, gorgeous views, and laid-back vibe. Though most residents would probably prefer the many charms of Dangar Island to remain under wraps, holidaymakers and urbanites have taken notice. As such, the number of locals surges during peak season, when many folks hop on the ferry from the town of Brooklyn in New South Wales in an attempt to trade city life for more peaceful, pastoral pleasures. Just Enough Room Island, New York, USA Part of the Thousand Islands archipelago, between New York and Ontario, Just Enough Room Island covers a mere 1005 square metres – making it the “smallest inhabited island.” So, what could possibly fit on a plot that’s the size of a tennis court? Well, it seems to be just enough room for a cosy cottage, a tree, some shrubs, and an itsy-bitsy beach. While you can’t actually step foot on this privately-owned patch (the Sizeland family purchased it as a holiday sanctuary back in the 1950s), ogling from a boat while cruising along the Saint Lawrence River is fair game. Simping Island, Indonesia Indonesia consists of a staggering 17,508 volcanic islands of various shapes and sizes. Simping Island (previously called Pulau Kelapa Dua), in the province of West Kalimantan, is the smallest with a total width of 0.5 hectares. At first glance, it appears to be nothing more than a mound of sand, stone, and several trees bobbing in calm waves. But its diminutive proportions haven’t deterred visitors from going there to pray and even erecting a shrine. To that end, the most intriguing and unexpected element on this otherwise unassuming skerry is a Chinese temple. A locally built pedestrian footbridge means easy access for worshipers and day-trippers alike. Saba, Netherlands Antilles The smallest island in the Netherlands Antilles, Saba measures 13 square kilometres and has a population of around 2000, so it tends to fly under the radar. Unlike most of its Caribbean neighbours, Saba doesn’t have picture-perfect beaches. But what this pyramid-shaped isle lacks in size and sandy shoreline, it more than makes up for in lush rainforests. The chance to trek Mt Scenery, a dormant volcano and the highest point in the Kingdom of the Netherlands, is another major selling point. Favour aquatic adventures? Turquoise tides and colourful marine life provide incredible opportunities for scuba diving. Written by Lindsay Cohn. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/10-of-the-smallest-islands-in-the-world" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA87V" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> Image: Getty Images

International Travel

Blockheads’ four tips for living large in a small space

While many of us dream of having ample room in our homes, the reality for many of us is that our spaces are more compact than we may like. But, this doesn’t mean we can’t have our homes renovated or decorated as we’d like them - it all comes down to being savvy with the space we have. For Brad and Lara Cranfield, who claimed victory in the 2012 season of The Block Australia, making conscious design choices helped them in renovating their dream house in Byron Bay and transforming it from a shack to a spacious home. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4ZWkZ1FTJJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B4ZWkZ1FTJJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Brad and Lara Cranfield (@bradandlara_theblock)</a> </div> </blockquote> “Our house was in its original 1960’s condition when we purchased it. There were small rooms everywhere – an entry foyer, a lounge room and a pokey kitchen and dining room – so we knew that we had to open it up to increase the light, space and make it family-friendly,” Lara says. If you’re looking to achieve something similar in your home, Lara and Brad have shared their four top tips for making the most of your space, even when it’s compact. Be selective of flooring details For Lara and Brad, selecting a light colour and the direction of their flooring was a key to helping open up their space. The Carpet Court ambassadors chose light brown flooring that complemented their ‘beachy’ aesthetic, while also being within their budget and opening up their rooms. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/11/b4-after1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> “By selecting lighter flooring, we were able to visually open each room, particularly smaller areas such as the bedrooms and home office, making each look and feel larger,” Lara explains. “Installing the flooring so that it ran along the length of each room was critical in visually elongating the rooms, making them appear larger.” Open up with your windows Even if you’re working with limited space, taking advantage of windows can help make your home feel larger than it really is. “Windows play an important role in opening up a space – from letting in natural light to drawing the eye upwards or towards the outdoors – so how they are dressed needs to be carefully considered,” Lara says. To take advantage of their high ceilings, Lara and Brad installed floor-to-ceiling window shades and opted for a thin track system to create a simple, sleek look. Another option is to add in a skylight or install larger windows, with the couple suggesting those that are floor-to-ceiling to maximise natural light entering your spaces. “Ensuring your home has enough access to natural light is essential in helping it feel spacious, bright, and open,” Lara adds. Take to the walls Along with more light and light flooring, busting out the paint on your walls and ceilings can work in tandem to open up your home. “Using light coloured paint on the walls and ceiling will also help maximise the space and work alongside the natural light to brighten your home,” Lara says. If you opt for a darker paint, less natural light will be reflected within the home and artificial light will be muted. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/11/b4-after2.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Rearranging your walls altogether - if it’s in your budget - is another dramatic way to change the space inside your home. After eliminating some of the walls in their home, Lara and Brad turned their series of small rooms into an open plan living area - with dramatic results. “To maximise space, we knocked down all adjoining walls to create a large, open plan living area. As some of the walls were load bearing, we had to add ceiling beams,” Lara explains. “Eliminating these walls has changed the way that we live – I can now see where the family is and what they’re up to, which is great when you have young children.” Balance furniture and clutter After picking your flooring, changing your physical spaces and updating the paint, all that’s left is to decorate, which can also be done strategically. Lara suggests scaling the size of your furniture to your spaces and removing unnecessary items to minimise clutter, and even considering built-in furniture. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/11/after1.jpg" alt="" /> “Make sure that you select the right scale furniture for a space – and that doesn’t always mean including small items for small rooms! Large furnishings can still be put into a small room. And remember, less is more, so if a room is cluttered make sure you declutter and take any unnecessary items out,” she says. “You also want your room to be functional – you may create a beautiful room on paper, however in reality it doesn’t always work. Built-in furniture, like a banquette with storage or a coffee table that works as a box, allows you to enjoy the room and your home free of unnecessary clutter.” Images: Instagram / Depthfield Photography - Michael Lean

Home Hints & Tips

“That is what makes him a predator”: Graham Norton names worst ever guest

Graham Norton has called out his "least favourite guest" on his long-running talk show in his new tell-all book. The BBC presenter was on a book tour for his new memoir Forever Home in his native Dublin when he opened up about the star's "chilling" behaviour before he even arrived on set. Two years before the avalanche of allegations about convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein came to light in 2017, he appeared on Graham's famous red sofa. He joined Doctor Who actor David Tennant, Oscar winner Olivia Colman and singer Jessie J in 2015. “I often talk around who my least favourite guest was, but someone reminded me, I have a really good answer to this now,” Norton said, according to Irish news outlet <a title="www.joe.ie" href="https://www.joe.ie/movies-tv/graham-norton-worst-guest-756066?fbclid=IwAR16hRsekgbR7OCKoYxJMIzG08n1nkAKcuASfa4ErXuXOpByUu3Y0X3WXeE">Joe</a>. “And actually, it was weird, because he asked for my e-mail. And he e-mailed me something very nice, a complimentary thing. And then he decided he wanted to be on the show, because he was going to promote something." “And it was a show that was fully booked, so I replied saying ‘Oh, thank you so much, but the show is fully booked’. He e-mailed back: ‘What if I blah de blah de blah’." “And he e-mailed back again, ‘But I think...’, and I just had to turn to my booker and say ‘Can you please deal with this?’ And at the time, I thought that sort of attitude, that kind of ‘Oh no, I’m going on’, that is what makes you a very good producer." “But of course, now that we know what we know, that is what makes him a predator. It was that kind of weird, tunnel-vision thing. And it was sort of chilling in retrospect, because I was just laughing at those emails. But you realise ‘Oh my God, that is an insight into how that man is’.” Weinstein is serving a 23-year prison sentence after a New York jury found him guilty of sexual assault. Image credits: Getty Images

Small gestures are most important in relationships

It’s not grand gestures and lavish gifts that make love last but the little things that you do and say that show how much you care. The Enduring Love project by Open University in Britain surveyed more than 5,000 people on their relationships and found, contrary to popular belief, it’s not big displays of love that count but the mundane, day-to-day gestures, like sharing a cup of coffee, that helped sustain a relationship and were crucial to relationship satisfaction. “Surprise gifts and small acts of kindness were valued highly, with ‘a cup of tea’ being singled out as a significant sign of their partner's appreciation. Bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates were seen as less important than the thoughtfulness behind the gesture,” the study states. Jacqui Gabb, co-author of the project, noted, “Actions really do speak louder than words and many people consider a loving gesture to be as valuable as hearing ‘I love you’. Grand romantic gestures, although appreciated, don't nurture a relationship as much as bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed, or watching TV together.” The project identified sharing values, faith, beliefs, tastes, ambitions and interests with their partner, as well as expressions of intimacy and being aware of one another’s needs as important to relationship satisfaction. It also found having children affected relationship quality more than any other factor and mothers are happiest in their life than any other group. Co-author Janet Fink said: "With a tough economic climate, the rise in grey divorce and social media opening up new ways to start affairs, it isn't always easy to keep love alive today. "However, our survey has shown that surviving adversities – even very difficult situations such as being out of work – can make a relationship much stronger. What doesn't break you can make you." Image: Shutterstock

Relationships

Did Dad book us into a doghouse by mistake?

There are some things in life that you can’t leave up to dads alone and booking the accomodation for the family holiday is one of them. Kylie Keefe’s dad was trusted with the difficult task and accidentally made a huge mistake. He somehow managed to book a tiny house for the family of 4 grown adults and two big dogs. Sharing the funny mishap on TikTok, which has been viewed over 29 million times, Kylie said: “So my dad rented this Airbnb for four people and two dogs for four nights.” <blockquote class="tiktok-embed" style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@kyliekeefe2/video/7130339777303498030" data-video-id="7130339777303498030"> <section><a title="@kyliekeefe2" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@kyliekeefe2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@kyliekeefe2</a> so my dad rented this Airbnb for four people and 2 dogs for two nights <a title="fyp" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#fyp</a> <a title="airbnb" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/airbnb" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#airbnb</a> <a title="tinyhome" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/tinyhome" target="_blank" rel="noopener">#tinyhome</a> <a title="♬ original sound - Kylie Keefe" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7130339750841617198" target="_blank" rel="noopener">♬ original sound - Kylie Keefe</a></section> </blockquote> Viewers have compared the property to a child’s dollhouse and some even suggested they’d all have to sleep standing up. "That's the dog house," one person commented, while another added: "I'm sure Dad is bragging about how good of a deal he got." Kylie’s stepmum, Erika, shared a tiny house tour, showing a double bed on a mezzanine level as well as two “pullout chairs” which were expected to turn into beds. The property managers of the tiny house, ACL Tiny Houses, later confirmed that Kylie’s dad had accidentally booked for two people instead of four. However the listing said it “sleeps three comfortably”. There are also two other tiny houses nearby that can be booked on the same property. Kylie confirmed that the actual Airbnb was very cute and they were simply laughing at their dad’s mistake. Image: TikTok

Real Estate

We need to talk about monkeypox without shame and blame

The recent global outbreak of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/diseases/monkeypox-mpx">monkeypox</a> largely among <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/07/26/1113713684/monkeypox-stigma-gay-community">men who have sex with men</a> has raised concerns homophobia will undermine effective prevention efforts. There are also fears the disease will fuel homophobic stigma and discrimination. Even the name monkeypox <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-in-a-name-why-giving-monkeypox-a-new-one-is-a-good-idea-185307">is stigmatising</a> due to long-held <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2022/08/01/1113908154/critics-say-monkeypox-is-a-racist-name-but-its-not-going-away-anytime-soon">racist appropriation of the term monkey</a> and the false implication the virus is transmitted by monkeys. The <a href="https://www.who.int/director-general/speeches/detail/who-director-general-s-opening-remarks-at-the-covid-19-media-briefing--14-june-2022">World Health Organization</a> has said the name needs to change, but has not agreed on or announced a new one. Currently, <a href="https://www.aconhealth.org.au/monkeypox">advocates for the LGBTQA+ community</a> are using the term MPX, the term I will use here. MPX is, of course, not the first infectious disease to affect men who have sex with men. So there are things we must learn and things we must not repeat from the public health response to HIV. <h2>Lessons from HIV</h2> When HIV emerged among communities of gay and bisexual men in the 1980s, fear and uncertainty about the cause and nature of the virus led to <a href="https://theconversation.com/lessons-from-the-history-of-hiv-aids-in-australia-how-activism-changed-the-image-of-an-illness-4052">vilification of gay and bisexual men</a>. HIV was initially named “<a href="https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/pdfplus/10.2105/AJPH.2021.306348">gay-related immune deficiency</a>” or GRID and there was speculation it was caused by men’s excessive sex or drug use (specifically use of <a href="https://theconversation.com/weekly-dose-amyl-started-as-a-poison-antidote-now-a-common-party-drug-64610">amyl nitrate</a>). As well as sparking calls for a crackdown on the rights and freedoms of LGBTQA+ communities, the view gay and bisexual men were to blame for HIV obstructed effective public health responses. Famously, in the United States, then President Ronald Reagan <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lgbtq-history-month-early-days-america-s-aids-crisis-n919701">made no public mention of HIV or AIDS</a> until more than 12,000 American citizens had died, and HIV had spread widely into many communities. Although today, globally, <a href="https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/fact-sheet">HIV affects more women</a> than men, it is still difficult to disentangle <a href="https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2012/august/20120828punitivelaws">HIV-related stigma from homophobia</a> or stigma against other affected populations, including injecting drug users or sex workers. <a href="https://theconversation.com/charlie-sheen-and-ten-million-dollars-worth-of-hiv-stigma-50909">Stigma creates barriers</a> to HIV prevention as people are reluctant to talk about HIV or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-6156-4">seek testing</a> for fear of being associated with stigmatised groups. It also perpetuates a fundamental lack of empathy for people living with HIV. For these reasons, it’s important we don’t approach MPX in these terms. <h2>A new approach?</h2> There are <a href="https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-07-21/monkeypox-government-response-we-can-do-better">some reports</a> of MPX being used to justify homophobic sentiment or actions. However, a crucial difference between this disease and HIV is <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blaming-gay-men-for-monkeypox-will-harm-everyone/">the world has learned</a> from HIV. There is now better understanding of the insidious ways <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/landia/article/PIIS2213-8587(20)30127-3/fulltext">stigma and discrimination undermine public health</a>. HIV also taught us to be cautious about the potential for public health messaging to contribute to stigma, especially when an illness is associated with <a href="https://www.nihr.ac.uk/blog/the-perfect-storm-how-covid-19-public-health-messages-may-not-serve-ethnic-minority-communities/30257">marginalised cultural or racial groups</a>. Health policy makers have been <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/23/un-denounces-homophobic-and-racist-reporting-on-monkeypox-spread">fast to condemn</a> stigmatising media reporting of MPX. Meanwhile the community-based HIV sector has mobilised existing infrastructure and experience to support <a href="https://www.acon.org.au/">advocacy and MPX education</a> for men who have sex with men. Importantly, we now have better knowledge about the effectiveness of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31210141/">sex-positive approaches</a> to preventing HIV and other sexually transmissible infections (STIs). <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/26410397.2019.1593787">Such approaches</a> affirm the pleasures and benefits of sex, aim to build open dialogue about safe sex and ensure people can seek testing without fear of judgement or backlash. <h2>The impact of sexual moralising</h2> We have learned lessons from HIV. However, MPX has exposed the ways sexual moralising is ever-present in public health, undermining sex-positive health promotion. Observers of early media responses to MPX note efforts to avoid stigmatising gay and bisexual men have <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jun/23/monkeypox-outbreak-public-information-virus-homophobia">led to obtuse and confusing reporting</a> about the ways in which the disease, <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-does-monkeypox-spread-an-epidemiologist-explains-why-it-isnt-an-sti-and-what-counts-as-close-contact-188130">although not classified as an STI</a>, can be spread through close physical contact and why gay and bisexual men may be at risk of exposure. Reporting has been deliberately vague because there is very limited cultural space for speaking about group sex, casual sex or sex with multiple partners without these practices, and people involved, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/04/opinion/monkeypox-communication.html">being shamed</a>. Despite increasing acceptance of sexual diversity, people’s <a href="https://www.ippf.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/Putting%20Sexuality%20back%20into%20Comprehensive%20Sexuality%20Education_0.pdf">right to engage in pleasurable sex</a> outside a married, monogamous relationship is rarely affirmed. Young women, for example, are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8296320/">shamed</a> for having “too many” sexual partners, while calls for comprehensive, <a href="https://theconversation.com/sex-ed-needs-to-talk-about-pleasure-and-fun-safe-sex-depends-on-it-and-condom-use-rises-176572">pleasure-based sex education</a> are controversial. While the world has come a long way toward acceptance of same-sex marriage, homophobia often drives condemnation of gay and bisexual men’s sexual cultures. This is most visible in relation to public health. For example, when pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) first became available to prevent HIV, public funding for it <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4566537">was critiqued</a> by some on the grounds this amounted to subsidising gay and bisexual men’s <a href="https://blogs.bmj.com/medical-ethics/2016/10/08/sex-and-other-sins-public-morality-public-health-and-funding-prep/">promiscuity</a>. When considered through the lens of public health, casual sex is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9566.2012.01475.x">often equated with irresponsibility</a>. People’s right to seek sex and intimacy can also be devalued or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6951379/">seen as irrelevant</a>. We know, however, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/11-02-2022-redefining-sexual-health-for-benefits-throughout-life">acknowledging the significance</a> of sexual identities and sexual connection in people’s lives is the best way to engage communities in sexual health promotion. <h2>A sex-positive approach</h2> As current vaccine supplies for MPX are limited in many jurisdictions, including Australia, <a href="https://theconversation.com/australia-secures-450-000-new-monkeypox-vaccines-what-are-they-and-who-can-have-them-187691">priority access is being given</a> to high-risk groups, including men who have sex with men who have multiple sexual partners. Given men are being asked to disclose their sexual practices to obtain a vaccine, assurance of non-stigmatising health care will be essential for this program to be successful. A sex-positive approach to MPX prevention will also support more open conversations so people can gain a better handle on risk and prevention, no matter who they are.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/188295/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jennifer-power-4215">Jennifer Power</a>, Associate Professor and Principal Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-need-to-talk-about-monkeypox-without-shame-and-blame-188295">original article</a>. Image: Getty

Caring

Tom Cruise in talks for third Top Gun movie

Tom Cruise is already in talks for a third Top Gun movie. The sequel, Top Gun: Maverick, spectacularly hit $1 billion at the box office worldwide, 36 years after the first installment of the franchise. It actually took about 30 years to convince Cruise to get involved with the Top Gun sequel. “We definitely wanted to do another after the first one became such a success,” producer Jerry Bruckheimer told Boss Hunting. “But it took [director] Joe Kosinski who came up with the story. We flew to Paris where Tom was filming Mission: Impossible at the time, we pitched him the story. “Joe had a lookbook. He had a poster. And he pitched what you saw. And Tom loved it. That’s how we got it going. “After that, Tom picked up the phone, called the head of Paramount, and said: ‘I want to make another Top Gun’.” Miles Teller, who played Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, the son of Goose - Maverick’s best friend, is also speaking to Cruise about a potential third film. “I’ve been having some conversations with him [Tom Cruise] about it. We’ll see. “That would be great, but that’s all up to TC. “It’s all up to Tom.” Image: YouTube

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14 smart small yard landscaping ideas

Leave some space When considering landscaping ideas for a small yard, remember to leave space. It’s easy to overcrowd things and inadvertently create a claustrophobic effect. Here, a seating area has a clear view to the garden, courtesy of a small patch of grass and some unobstructed hardscaping. Layered landscape An easy backyard idea for small yards is to create a layered landscape – just like in nature. Think of a forest with low groundcovers, ferns, shade-tolerant understory shrubs and trees, and the tall overhead trees. You can do the same thing with your small yard landscaping! Use things like groundcovers, bulbs and crevice plants to create a beautiful layered landscape, while maximising your flower bed space! Walls and fences Sure, you want your small yard landscaping to include privacy, so why not utilise surrounding structures like walls and fences? For this small yard idea, vines are the perfect answer – just be sure to pick one that’s not invasive or a garden thug. Vertical gardens A popular trend in small yard ideas is to garden vertically. There are many off-the-shelf products that allow you to grow plants vertically, such as the wall planters seen here. Or you can create something yourself. Either way it creates gardening space out of thin air. Hanging planters Another clever way to maximise space is with hanging planters. Window boxes A more traditional way of maximising gardening space is with window boxes. Naturally, you can attach them beneath your windows. But other small yard ideas include placing them on a porch, around the perimeter of a patio, or hanging from a deck railing. Dwarf plants Growers are continually introducing new cultivars with special characteristics. One of those is a dwarf habit. When considering landscaping ideas, you can grow a tree that matures at 30cm or 25 metres. When you choose the former, you end up with enough space to add companion plants. Columnar plants While you’re considering size and growth characteristics, think about habit as well. Columnar plants, such as this upright pear cultivar, grow straight up. There’s more room to the side, and more light at the bottom for a greater variety of plants. And yet you still get the blooms and the fruit. Win-win! Trailing plants Here’s another shape that will help when looking for landscaping ideas for a small yard. You can run trailing plants down the side of a planter, as seen here, or let them trail from the top of a wall. Either way maximises space and softens a hard surface to help it blend into the landscape. Crevice plants Crevices are ubiquitous to most gardens, so you might as well make use of them. Sedum and other succulents such as Sempervivum are perfect for these spots, which are often on the lean and dry side. They make the space prettier and the hard surfaces less imposing. Narrow spots Along with crevices, most gardens have narrow strips that lack soil and moisture. Rather than fighting the conditions, work with them. One of the small yard ideas you can implement is to plant some tough, vining groundcovers and let them sprawl over the area. Use ivy in shady areas, succulents in sunny spots. A mulch of gravel is a nice low-maintenance addition that keeps plant foliage clean. Containers Let’s not forget containers when thinking about small yard landscaping. They’re more popular than ever – and not just because they maximise gardening space. Containers add greatly to a garden’s character. They allow you to show off your favourite plants. And if you coordinate their colour and arrange them in odd numbers, you create a dashing focal point. Lawn substitute As you saw earlier, a small lawn can be helpful to a small-space garden because it opens up the area and makes it feel less claustrophobic. Well, if you’re not going to be walking on the lawn all the time, you might consider substituting a groundcover. You not only avoid mowing, you also integrate the area into the landscape. With a groundcover, your lawn becomes the garden. Bonsai and miniature garden The smallest yard in the world has room for a garden when the plants are miniaturised. Examples include bonsai, miniature fairy gardens and terrariums. Although usually kept indoors in cold climates, they can holiday outside for the summer in a protected location where they’re not exposed to too much direct sunlight. Written by Luke Miller. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/gardening-tips/14-smart-small-yard-landscaping-ideas" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA87V" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> Image: Getty Images

Home & Garden

The W word is tough to talk about, but we need to be better prepared

Widowhood isn’t a topic that is widely discussed. Yet with some women left financially ruined after the unexpected death of their spouse or partner – especially if they suddenly find themselves single parents. It is a discussion we should be having, both to support newly widowed women and to lessen the financial burden on those who may follow. ‘My partner is gone and I don’t know how I’m going to make ends meet.’ This is a situation that no one wants to face, yet many women sadly do. And it isn’t just elderly women or those in retirement. Between 2018 and 2020, suicide and accidental poisonings were the two <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-death/deaths-in-australia/contents/leading-causes-of-death" target="_blank" rel="noopener">leading causes of death among 25-44 year-olds</a> – both of which can occur without warning. For the partners left behind, their grief is compounded by another painful loss – the loss of financial stability. ‘It won’t happen to me’ Too many women overestimate their financial resources and protections, while believing their partner will always be there to cover their back. Can you afford to pay the bills after the sudden loss of income – which may have been the bulk of your household earnings? Do you have the full picture of your, and your partner’s, assets, and debts? How will you juggle your job with the new-found constraints of being single, and potentially a single parent? If your partner was self-employed, is the business still profitable or even viable if they’re gone? Has its value suddenly diminished? These are just several of many issues widows face, at an already stressful time. Preventing the worst While we can’t control death, I think there are two equally important preventative actions women can – and must – take to avoid becoming cash-strapped widows. Firstly, ensure your partner looks after themselves. Men especially often ignore their own health, until it’s too late. Be a source of encouragement and support, and hopefully keep them earthside much longer, with a good diet, regular exercise, stress-relieving activities, and regular medical check-ups for physical and mental health. However, healthy lifestyles don’t guarantee a long life. Which is why contingency plans are crucial. Protecting yourself and your/your partner’s dependents should they die includes having: <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Emergency cash fund </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Household savings and investment plan </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Life insurance </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Funeral cover </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Current will </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Nominated superannuation/trust beneficiaries (which are separate from a will) </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Succession/exit plan for any business owned </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Self-employed people paying their worker’s compensation and superannuation </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Qualified tax and financial advice </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Good debt management </li> </ul> Coping with loss To every widow, let me first say I am so sorry for your loss. You may feel overwhelmed by your new reality. Money worries will only add to this. Some immediate options to ease this pressure and let you focus on processing your grief with loved ones include: <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Time off: Work may seem like a good distraction, but you risk making poor decisions under clouded judgement. Take bereavement/annual leave to keep money coming in. For the self- employed, have a business partner/senior employee cover for you. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Notify your partner’s employer: To pay out remaining wages and entitlements. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Life insurance, funeral cover: Check your partner’s policies, including through their superfund. Lodge a claim as soon as you can – it takes time to be processed and paid out. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Get support: You may be eligible for <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/what-help-there-when-adult-dies?context=60101" target="_blank" rel="noopener">government support measures</a>, including deferred obligations and bereavement payments. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> If your partner died at work: Worker’s compensation or other payouts could be owed to you. </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Counselling: Free services include <a href="https://griefline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Griefline</a> or your/your partner’s Employee Assistance Program. </li> </ul> Life as a single woman It’s now entirely up to you to manage money and save for retirement. I recommend getting good professional advice to work through: <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Transferring assets to be under your name </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Maintaining a roof over your head – which may mean downsizing to a more affordable home </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Adjusting to life on one income </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Maximising earnings; minimising tax </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Investing larger payouts – your late partner’s superannuation, insurances, compensation </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Business strategy – how and whether to sell or continue trading </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Updating your will; providing for dependent children/elderly parents </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Meeting debt obligations </li> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> Should you enter another relationship down the track, whether a binding financial agreement is needed </li> </ul> The death of a partner is emotionally devastating. Yet it needn’t devastate you financially too. No matter your situation or life stage, I implore you: take an active role in managing your money. The death of a partner will necessitate it, but you’ll make a difficult situation that bit easier by having financial strategies already in place to fall back on. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women (Ventura Press, $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Image: Shutterstock

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We talked to dozens of people about their experience of grief. Here’s what we learned (and how it’s different from what you might think)

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image